I haven’t given you many specifics about the positions that you can use for oral sex. Certainly there is no right or wrong position. One partner can be seated or standing and the other on his or her knees, or the recipient can lie on his back while his or her partner leans in over the genitals. Just choose whatever is most comfortable. If the woman kneels down and straddles her partner’s head while he is lying on his back, she will gain some control over how much stimulation she is getting because this position allows her to pull back or push forward. To make sure that her partner doesn’t have to strain his neck, he should place as many pillows as necessary under his head until he can reach her clitoris without straining.Although you’re free to name any position you may use during oral sex, one position already has a name of its own — 69, which refers to partners performing and receiving oral sex at the same time. The name comes from the shape of the two bodies as they lie on top of and upside down to one another.
It really doesn’t matter which partner is on top, but the man usually gets on his hands and knees because he is likely to have to strain his neck more if he is on the bottom. (Although, as I said above, a pillow under his head can help.) The 69 position may be most comfortable for both partners if done while lying on their sides.
Oral sex, especially fellatio, offers a couple the opportunity to give orgasms without removing any clothing. All a man has to do is stick his penis outside of his zipper and his partner can perform oral sex. This allows couples to perform a sexual act in places not normally thought of as appropriate, such as hallways and park benches. Although I know this goes on, I urge you to exercise some caution. You may think that no one can see you and be very, very wrong. So if you give in to this temptation, do it cautiously.
And although I know the thought of giving a man an orgasm while driving in a car may be tempting, please don’t ever do anything as distracting as that while in a moving vehicle.
Addressing the Safety Issue
Many people have the erroneous notion that oral sex is completely safe because no one ever became pregnant through oral sex. But oral sex is not entirely safe when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases, although oral sex is safer than intercourse or anal sex in terms of transmitting germs and viruses. I offer more information on STDs, but here I want you to know that diseases can be transmitted orally. With more and more people engaging in oral sex, the transmission of disease through oral sex is rising, so much so that now doctors are finding cases of genital herpes that were caused by the virus for oral herpes, something that had not been noted before.
A partner performing fellatio can protect herself or himself by making sure that a condom is placed on her or his partner’s penis. But when performing oral sex on a woman, preventing the transmission of disease is much more difficult. Some people recommend using dental dams, which are small squares of latex, or a sheet of plastic wrap held over the woman’s vagina during oral sex. But the odds of keeping the dental dam in place, so no bodily fluids are exchanged during passionate sex, seem pretty remote. And plastic wrap, which is so thin, seems likely to break, although some brands are stronger than others. Very thin underwear (you can even get an edible variety that comes in flavors) can also act as a barrier.
Although it’s tempting to say that using either dental dam or plastic wrap is better than nothing, I think that would be an error. If you think you’re protected when you’re not, you’re much more likely to do something that you shouldn’t. So the only way to make sure that you won’t get a disease when performing cunnilingus is to only do it with a partner who has been tested for STDs (and given a negative result). I could add “or who is a virgin,” except that so many teens who consider themselves virgins have had oral sex and may have already gotten an STD. Virginity these days is not necessarily a form of protection.
