Cybersex is the exchange of sexual conversations or images over the Internet. Sometimes it results in masturbation, either in front of erotic images on a computer screen or while communicating with another person in a chat room or on an instant messenger service (IM’ing). Cybersex is not the same as phone sex — where two people who know each other but can’t be together masturbate while on the phone. Cybersex usually involves someone you’ve never met.Computers as sex objects: Turned on all the time
One of the few areas where investors have actually made money on the Internet is in the business of sex. Sex sites abound online, offering seemingly infinite amounts of hard-core pornography. I have long said that using erotica (literary or artistic works having erotic content) can increase arousal, but the extensive categories of explicit material offered on the Web give even me reason to pause.
Looking at pornography can become addictive, especially when a person sees such vast quantities of material. Imagine what would happen to alcoholics who found a secret passage into the basement of a liquor store. Could they resist going back for more and more? Of course not, and for similar reasons, many men wander into the world of cyberporn and then can’t escape. I hear about some of the married ones because their wives complain to me, but imagine all the single guys out there who turn to their computers for sexual gratification. If you bring home a porno magazine, you can spend only so much time looking atit before you get bored. But if you have literally millions of images available on the Web, then you can spend all of your free time surfing. And with a broad- band connection, you can download full-length, X-rated movies.
Directing your own X-rated show
Not all the sex on the Net has been filmed. You can find sites that offer a live person whom only you can see and talk to. You can tell that person exactly what you want him or her to do and then listen to what he or she says. If you want two people to act out your fantasies, these sites can accommodate you as well. Partaking in this activity costs a lot more than simply watching prerecorded material, but some people find directing a fantasy with real people well worth the cost.
Sites to satisfy every fetish fantasy
The Internet has been a great resource for individuals and couples who have unique sexual interests. The abundance of material offered on the Net canalso help people to discover sexual appetites that they may never have suspected they had. For example, the types of material available on one site fall into categories such as old, ugly, fat, blood, spit, menstrual, medical, zoo,
For adult eyes only
Many of the really hard-core sites require an age check, or even a credit card because they charge their users. That limitation doesn’t seem to deter most young men, however, and other sites offer similar material without these checks. Parents need to consider adding whatever software they see fit to keep teens from exploring such hard-core sites. However, if the parents of only one teen on the block don’t add such protection to their computer, you may lose all control over whether or not your child gets a peek at these sites.
While most sites (especially those looking to make money) force you to register in some way, plenty of sites, often called “amateur” sites, don’t require you to do any more than click on the word “Enter.” By doing so you “swear” to be over the age of 21. You don’t have to bring your wallet or even your ID to surf the wildest waves on the Web.
Finding sexually explicit material on the Net
Some of you who’ve never tried turning your computer screen into a virtual swingers’ club may wonder how you go about locating sexually explicit material on the Web. Actually, tumbling down this particular rabbit hole is very simple, though getting back out isn’t always as easy — and not just because the pornography is addictive. These sites often link back to each other so when you open one site, the only other place you can go is another sex-related site. The process is spooky. When you’re caught in one of these whirlpools of naked flesh, the only thing you can do is to shut down your Internet connection. Even then, half a dozen screens showing women performing various sex acts may still be decorating your computer’s desktop. (The data also can inhabit your computer’s memory long after you’ve left these sites. If you don’t want anyone to know what sites you’ve been visiting, at the very least delete the contents of your History folder on your hard drive.)
If you go to any search engine (like Yahoo! or Google) and type in the word “sex” or “porn,” your computer will return screen after screen of links that lead to very graphic images. If you want some guidance in this area, check out www.JanesGuide.com, which rates various erotic sites.
Getting kinky with a keyboard: Chatting online
While the erotic images on the Web mostly target men (even the pictures of naked men are shown for the gay Net surfer), you can find another entire universe aimed at both women and men — chatting. What is chatting?
Basically, chatting or IM’ing (instant messaging) is sitting at your computer and sending messages back and forth to someone in real time, unlike e-mail where you have to wait to get a reply.Just as only a fraction of the Web deals with sex, most chatting or IM’ing goes on between people who know each other and has nothing whatsoever to do with sex. Any teens who have access to a computer spend inordinate amounts of time chatting with their friends about anything and everything. Many lonely people, on the other hand, sit at their computers looking to meet someone “special.” Sometimes they succeed, and sometimes they merely fall prey to someone whose sole purpose is to deceive.
Nameless, faceless: Anonymity online
Because people use nicknames instead of their real identities when chatting, you can easily remain completely anonymous. That anonymity has good points and bad points. Keeping your privacy is good, but the person with whom you’re chatting may turn out to be a serial rapist. Therefore, I advise you to be very, very careful before agreeing to give any personal information to a stranger with whom you chat.
I know that some people have found the man or woman of their dreams on the Web, but someone else’s good fortune doesn’t offer you any protection whatsoever. If you decide to forge ahead and make direct contact with someone you’ve only chatted with online, please take every precaution.
If you want to give out a phone number, give your work number, or maybe a cell phone number, so your home address can’t be traced. (Consider giving your office address when registering a cell phone.)
If you decide to meet, do so in a very public place such as a crowded restaurant or busy bar where you can easily get up and leave. Make sure that a friend or relative knows that you’re going on this date and ask her to call your cell phone while you’re out with the person. Leave your cell phone on during the date, and if you don’t answer when your friend calls you, she should feel free to call the proper authorities.
