Some people with mental disabilities, such as Down syndrome, have only the intelligence of a child. Many people believe that these people should be treated like children with regard to all of their abilities. They believe that these adults should be “protected” from sex the way we protect children. As a result of such policies — especially if the person lives in a group setting — family or staff make an effort to eliminate any form of sexual interest or expression from these people’s lives. They get no privacy and aren’t even allowed to masturbate.
In many cases, this restrictive attitude toward sex conflicts with reality because, although a person’s mental level may be stuck in childhood, physically, he or she goes on to become an adult. The men have erections, nocturnal emissions, and a fully developed libido (sex drive) with all the attendant sexual desires. The woman’s sex drive also can develop fully, and physically she will have to adapt to having her menstrual periods.
Although, for some mentally impaired individuals, sex education can be limited to teaching them not to undress or touch their genitals in public, many others would benefit from learning about safer sex practices and how to handle a relationship.
Because the degree of mental proficiency differs for each individual, how much they should be taught, and how much freedom regarding sex they should get, depends on the individual. Some mentally disabled people marry and have children; for others, such activities aren’t appropriate.
Anyone — parent, relative, or caretaker — dealing with a mentally disabled person who reaches adolescence can’t ignore sex. As the mentally disabled person grows up physically, his or her hormones kick in, causing a variety of changes, such as the growth of pubic and underarm hair, breasts, and so on. Just as with average teenagers, someone must teach mentally disabled teenagers that these changes are normal. Girls must learn to use a pad or tampon. Boys must be told about wet dreams. Both sexes have to understand the sexual feelings that they are starting to have. Both have to learn about masturbation and that they should do it in private.
Another point to consider is companionship. Everyone needs companionship, and so people pairing off is only natural. Sometimes that companionship develops into a romance, and then a sexual relationship. Some institutions allow this activity to take place, making sure that contraception is used, while others do not. But even keeping men separated from women can’t ensure that sexual contact won’t take place.
The best approach is to offer all mentally impaired people sex education so they can learn to deal with this aspect of their lives. They will benefit from it, and so will those who take care of them. We can’t deny people who have mental impairments the right to fulfill the same needs the rest of us have, and so we have an obligation to help them learn as much as they can absorb.
While some people are born with a mental disability, far more people at some point in their life encounter a mental illness, such as depression, which affects 19 million people in the
