As a man gets older, he may require greater amounts of stimulation to get an erection. Some men find that oral sex works better than the use of hands. If your wife has always been willing to perform fellatio, you have no problems. If she has never performed fellatio, however, then problems can occur. Not only may she feel disgusted by the idea, but if she feels that she is being forced into performing oral sex, she may be more resentful about having to start.I get many letters from widows who face this problem. A woman’s sex life with her husband may have dwindled slowly over the years, and both partners had become used to it. But then, after her husband passes away, she meets a man who isn’t interested only in companionship — he wants to have sex with her. The problem is that he can’t have an erection all that easily and requests oral sex. The woman is in a quandary. At her age, men may be hard to find, so she doesn’t want to lose his companionship because of the oral sex issue. And because she knows that so many other widows would be happy to do whatever an interested man wanted done, she feels she doesn’t have a lot of leverage in this area. So she writes to me and asks what she should do.
This question is tough for me to answer. On the one hand, I don’t believe that anyone should do anything under pressure. But if the alternative is to lose the man and be lonely, that option’s no good either. I usually suggest a compromise, which is to have the woman try oral sex.
Maybe she won’t find fellatio so horrible after she gets used to it. She may even learn to like it. Don’t be surprised by that, because I do get women who report exactly that turn of events to me. Or maybe she’ll hate fellatio and have to give up on this man. But it’s worth a try.
