Premature ejaculation and impotence are the two main male sexual problems, but some men encounter other, rarer problems, such as retarded ejaculation, also known as male orgasmic disorder. Unlike premature ejaculation, where a man can’t stop himself from ejaculating, retarded ejaculation means he can’t make himself ejaculate.Now, although being able to last a long time is something our society puts great value on, retarded ejaculation is definitely a case of too much of a good thing, at least for the man . . . even if he brags about his lasting powers to cover up the problem. Obviously, a man who can’t ejaculate winds up feeling frustrated and angry and may actually begin to turn off to sex.
Sometimes a medical problem causes retarded ejaculation, in which case only a urologist can help. Sometimes the cause is psychological, and a sex therapist can treat the problem. A relationship problem can be one of the psychological causes, which may lead to a man unconsciously holding back his ejaculation. In that case, fixing the relationship is key to curing the problem.
Priapism — The Case of the Permanent Erection
Like retarded ejaculation, priapism is another one of those too-much-of-a-good-thing conditions. In priapism, a man develops a permanent erection.
This erection can result from the man taking or injecting himself with medication because he suffers from impotency, or from some disease that thickens the blood, making it impossible for blood to leave the penis after it has entered. Sickle cell anemia is one such disease.
Although priapism was named after the Greek god of fertility, that fact certainly doesn’t make the man afflicted with this problem feel good about his masculinity for very long. Priapism is not only painful, but the man usually ends up in the emergency room. (An erection that lasts more than four hours definitely calls for a trip to the hospital.) Doctors can now treat priapism without surgery, but the condition still requires medical care.
The Bent Penis
Peyronie’s disease inflicts some men with their worst possible nightmare —they go to sleep with a functioning penis and wake up the next morning witha penis that bends so severely when it becomes erect that intercourse becomes impossible (see Figure 1).
The cause of Peyronie’s disease is unknown; in many instances, it arises as a result of an injury. In early stages of the disease, men usually experience pain associated with having an erection. Sometimes that pain begins before the actual curvature starts and serves as an early indicator of the problem.
Figure 1:
Peyronie’s disease throws a curve in men’s sex lives.
How bad can Peyronie’s disease get? Bad enough for doctors to describe severe cases in which the erect penis looks like a corkscrew. On the other end of the spectrum, the bend may be very slight, not affect the man’s ability to have intercourse, and not cause any concern. In mild cases of the disease, if the man has any pain, it usually goes away on its own; all the doctor has to do is reassure the man that in two to three months all will be well.
Sometimes the curve disappears on its own. Because the disease is basically a scarring process, some men have reported positive results from taking vitamin E, although no scientific proof exists that this technique works.
Surgery can sometimes remove the scarred tissue, but surgery can also result in a loss of the man’s ability to have an erection, so he would then need to have a prosthetic device implanted.
The best advice I can pass on to any of my readers who have Peyronie’s disease is to visit a urologist who can help you. Some men are so embarrassed by their condition that they refuse to get help, but urologists have helped many men with this problem, so you have no reason to be shy.
I’ve received letters from men or their wives saying that they’ve lived with Peyronie’s disease for years, and some have even consulted physicians. So let me add here that if the first urologist you consult can’t help you, look for another one. Doing so is worth the effort.
Lack of Desire
Another problem I’d like to tackle is lack of sexual desire. One of the most common causes of this prob- lem these days is stress. You come home late every night from work, or you’ve lost your job, or whatever, and sex is the last thing on your mind. If your partner is amorous and then starts to complain about being rejected, you become even tenser and want to have sex even less. A vicious cycle builds up, and your sex life can deteriorate down to nothing.
Can you fix a problem such as this by yourself? Maybe, but it’s not easy. One of the components of this problem is usually a lack of communication. And breaking down the barriers that have been set up can be very hard to do. My recommendation is to visit a sex therapist or marriage counselor.
Some of the causes of loss of sexual desire aren’t emotional but physical. A good sex therapist always asks that the man see a medical doctor first to rule out any medical problems.
